been feeling sick since then.
Poor dead, furry body. Well, in all honesty it is not even the case of me feeling sorry for the creature, I just really do not understand it. That thing that used to live and fly will now have to lay there until someone picks it up. Something that used to move by itself just.. can not do it anymore. I am so strange. I am afraid of dead things, but I am not afraid of dying.
Anyway, I bought some sushi to celebrate this lovely Saturday stuck in the office, but that did not go down at all. Have had four Red Bulls and a giant pear. I have to keep on drinking that shit because if I stop I will crash and I can not afford to crash until Wednesday.
I will finish work in 45 minutes and will try to go out for dinner. I can not remember the last time I was this tired. Must have been in High School.
But I am making money and I am feeling happy and excited about life and myself. The hardest thing about being really sad for a long time is trying to remember what you were like before the actual sadness punched you right in the face and left you gasping for breath every moment of every day - and learn how to grow.
It is a fantastic feeling, though, because I am stronger then ever. I am just pleased with being me. Just me. And I feel like nothing can stop me - a feeling I used to get only from drinking large amounts of alcohol. Now it is there, all the time.
It is a big part of life - experiencing shit and handling it in order to make the most out of yourself.
Everyone chose their battles and I have certainly chose mine. I just want to be happy. And I fucking will be.
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